Thursday, August 23, 2007

Playing,reading and being

We have this down to a fine art around here. Some days I'll ask "Princess, what would you like to do today?"
and she'll answer "let's just be today Momma".
We have not had one in a while. It has been cool and rainy here...not normal for N.J. in August by any means.
We have been inside for too many days.Small forays to pick dripping tomatoes do not count in her book.
Some of the boredom was relieved Yesterday, when we picked up a stack of "new to us" games from a
nearby freecycler.We played the "Monsters Inc " version of Life for hours.
Last night Farmer Dad got a chance to hang out with some men folk and play guitar....drink subs.
Princess and I dropped him off and picked him up for his "play date" as she called it.
I dropped her off at my sister's to make cookies and play with the puppy.
I had the house to myself. I put some Bruce on the stereo and cleaned out a closet and moved some books downstairs. I started some bread dough and roasted some tomatoes. The house smelled good and it would have been perfect with only the addition of one of those Bass Ales my DH brought with him to jam.
But, oh wait I was the designated beer for me.I made a hot cup of tea instead.
It was almost as satisfying. ;-)
After picking him up we stopped to drop off some tomatoes to our good friends and return a tent they had
lent to us, and she told us some very bad news. Her sister-in-law who has been fighting cancer for a couple of years, was just told it has spread and she has maybe 3 months to live. She has two little children and a husband
(and family and friends) who love her. Her children are just a bit older and just a bit younger than Princess.
7 and 4. I lost my mother at 21 (also cancer),and I still feel it. How will they manage?
My mother was just about Princess's age when her Mom died (also cancer) and she grew up not having many
memories of her, not remembering her voice...things like that haunted her into adulthood.
It is just painful to think of what these children (and all the others who love her) will have to go through.
As we baked our bread last night, and watched our Deadliest Catch tape, I just wanted to hold her and cry.
We picked up our toys from during the day and cuddled on the couch to read and played yet another game of
Hi-ho Cherry -O!, and I stopped being annoyed by the calls for "one more game Momma, one more book Momma.." and just enjoyed being her Momma.


Jenny said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes. So much sadness. I am lucky enough to have never experienced the loss of someone so close, so I can only imagine how hearing about your friend must have made you feel. I'm going to take your advice and stop being annoyed by the calls for attention and cuddle her up instead. Thanks for a much needed reminder.

Heather said...

I am so sorry about your friends, our thoughts go out to them. I will definetly try to be more understanding of the constant calling for momma to. Thank you for sharing that with us.

Fun Mommy of 2 said...

Your post was very touching. I would have held ds as well. It just reminds you how much we take for granted sometimes. That is so sad, Kate.

Mariposa said...

I am so sorry, Kate to hear such sad news. It is so difficult for the children.

It is a reminder to keep annual doctor appointments, and appreciate what you have now.

Daphne said...

You post made my heart sad. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 16, and my best friend at the time had lost his father when he was 5. I was sad when my father passed away, but even sadder for my friend who had never been able to grow to know his father. Even though I didn't get as much time with my dad as I would have like - I am thankful that I had what time I did and have memories that I will be able to keep. People who have experienced the loss of a parent at an early age would tell me "it will get better, just take it one day at a time". No one says when "better" will arrive, nor what happens when in the blink of an eye 10 years have passed by. I think your post is a solemn reminder of just how short life really is and why it is so important to squeeze all you can out of life and to try super hard to not take things for granted. Thank you for this reminder and my heart goes out to your friends.

nina said...

I am so sorry to read of news that saddens your heart for so many reasons. It is scary to think of leaving our children alone. I worry almost everyday about them losing me or me losing them. It is good to be reminded to "just be and enjoy." I need to remember that when I a working to keep the house clean. Thanks.

Kate in NJ said...

Thank you all for your kind words.
Daphne, I know what you Aunt lost her husband 6 months before my Mom and she told me "it will never get better- it will only get easier to deal with the pain." I have found her words to be so true for me.

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